Nobody Knows Anything
by Brunette
Summary: Specs has been paying close attention to Mush lately.


_Author's Note: So I've belonged to the Newsies Challenge for pretty much ... all summer. And I've answered ... two challenges. So I've decided to change that. And, at the risk of flooding the fandom with one-shots, I've decided to put them all in one neat little place, and tie them together. So I'm incorporating an added challenge just because I like that kind of thing._

_Challenge #1: Write a character study about (list o' characters)__** Mush** from (list o' characters)__ **Specs'** point of view. _

_Disclaimer: The Newsies do not belong to me. Obviously. The challenge was stemmed from the ever-lovely Queen Kez. This chapter's title (and every chapter title, frankly) was taken from an episode title of_ The Sopranos_. Because I love_ The Sopranos._ And their episode titles. And Max Casella's on the show._

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**Nobody Knows Anything**

Really, I am just curious.

I'm not a "freakin' weirdo" like Skittery says, and I _don't_ have too much time on my hands. I just ... I guess some part of me has to know. Maybe I just have to be sure something really is up. But right now I'm the only one who notices. I'm the only one paying enough attention, so I guess that makes me the weirdo. Everybody else just goes on with whatever they're doing -- and you know what? Great for them. As long as they don't get it, maybe there's a chance that I'm wrong. And if I really am wrong, then I don't got nothing to worry about.

I don't think I'm wrong, though. About Mush, I mean. I've been watching him for too long, and maybe I'm just too smart to let some things go. At first, watching him -- you know, just kinda noticing what he was doing and saying -- just kinda came with the deal. I mean, there's fellas you can kinda ignore, and then there's Mush. And Mush doesn't even ask for attention, like Jack and Race do. I think Jack and Racetrack would both be the kinda guys you'd ignore, if they didn't make you notice 'em all the time. I mean, look at me. What's the difference between Jack and me except a loud mouth? It ain't like he's any taller or stronger or special looking. I mean, okay, the girls all think he's somethin', but in the whole city? Jack Kelly's are a dime a dozen. Literally -- in our neighborhood, with so many Kelly's and O'Reilly's and Hayes's and Ryan's -- Jack Kelly is nothin' new. But guys like Mush ...

I mean, am I wrong? You just got to notice Mush. For one thing he's big, and not just for street kid. He could beat all the pricks in any academy you can dream up. He's taller than most everybody, I think. Maybe not Bumlets ... But you get me, right? He's nobody you would mess with in a dark alley. And he's got muscle, too. Noticeable muscle, like a middle-weight boxer. And let's face it, who else in our condition -- livin' like we do -- looks like that? I ask him one time why he don't throw this paper shit to the birds and start boxin'. He says to me he's never been mad enough to hit someone over and over again like that. And I'm thinkin' to myself, with my starving gut and noodle-arms and fresh bruises from the last time Skittery knocked me into a wall, I'm thinkin', what a waste! But then, you know Mush. He'd never hurt anybody.

That's the thing, and I've seen it happen more than once. Mush isn't no Kelly or O'Reilly or Ryan or whatever. He doesn't get freckles in the summer and his hair ain't kinky like that because he's a carrot top. And I've seen the Delancey's go at him a few times. I used to think a guy would have to be a dimwit to try and egg on Mush, but Oscar and Morris must have figured out pretty quick that Mush won't hurt 'em. They'll kinda shove him, and call him names. And I don't think I got to be specific with names, because I don't care for them myself. Some guys, they'll spit a dozen names for folks without another thought. If you can even believe it, I heard Skits and Jake talkin' about the Jewish neighborhood, and sayin' they couldn't get nothin' off 'a them "Christ-killers" -- and David was right there. I mean, he wasn't right with 'em talkin', but if I could heard 'em from where I was standing, he could, too. The way I figure it, we're most all orphans. I don't know where I come from, so who's to say I ain't Jewish or Italian or even part black or Chinese? Somebody got rid of me for some reason ... you know? But what I'm gettin' around to is the Delancey's will try and get Mush mad by callin' him black names. See, that's kinda a win-win thing for the Delancey's, if they want to get him mad -- at least if Mush was a regular guy. If he's white, it's an insult, and if he's black, it's an insult. But I've never seen Mush do more than shove 'em this whole time. There, Mush could murder 'em both without breakin' a sweat, and the most he'll do is kinda shove them out of his way.

I remember when we was striking, Mush was real careful on the scabs. I don't think anybody else paid any attention -- they was too busy fighting and everything. But I noticed. Sure he hit them and everything. Mush isn't a wuss. And I think most of the scabs avoided him, to be honest. Between picking a fight with Mush or Racetrack, I'd take Race any day of the week, if I didn' know any better. You can't help but notice Mush in a situation like that. And if you're a shrimp that hasn't eaten in a couple days, you're not gonna take on the fella with fists the size of your own head. Mush coulda killed some of them scabs -- he probably even coulda disfigured some 'a them chainers. But he didn't.

I guess I really didn't think too much of it, for a while. I like Mush and all, but we ain't especially close. Nothin' against him and nothin' against me -- we just each got our own set of friends. But I still watched Mush. Guess you could say I was jealous. I mean, and maybe I'm the only one, but to me, Mush has it all. He's got power, you know? Strangers don't mess with him. From the outside lookin' in, he's got it made. None of the Bronx boys try to take his papes and money, and if he did somethin' about it, the Delancey's would lay off him, too. And he's got good eyes and straight teeth, and he doesn't look like a lobster come July. For our situation, Mush lives pretty high on the hog.

And to talk to him, you'd know he doesn't realize he has power and all that. He goofs around like a dumb kid and plays jokes with Kid Blink. Mush could be a real prick, if he wanted. I mean, more than once I've thought to myself what a good deal it is that he don't act like Skittery, because I'd probably be dead by now. So I guess you could say, after a while, I just kinda started to admire him. He has it all, for a newsie at least, but he's still a good guy. I wanted to ask him, sometimes, why he's so nice to everybody, but I knew that'd be a dumb question to ask. Right around that time, I started to figure out somethin' was wrong with him.

It was all my fault, really. I drank two cups 'a coffee at around nine at night, and then when the lights went out, I was wired. I was sittin' in bed, and just drumming my fingers and trying to come up with something to think about that would put me to sleep. I kept getting distracted, though. I'd listen to what was going on in the room. Bumlets was snoring and Dutchy and Jake was trying to crawl up to his bunk and roll him over. Snitch was muttering in his sleep and somebody -- I ain't gonna say who, exactly -- but somebody was definitely jerking off. Just the usual sounds. Then I heard this kind of gasping. I thought maybe Mush was havin' a bad dream. I looked over and could see he was awake, and crying.

Now I ain't stupid. Everybody cries once in a while, when they think nobody's looking. That's kinda our whole way of life. Every once in a while it hits you that you're stuck in a hopeless situation, and nothing good's gonna ever happen for you. It happens to me, I know. Sometimes you just get angry 'cause your parents didn't even want you, and you wonder who in this cold city will if they don't. So I guess I knew that maybe Mush was having them kinda thoughts. But then I hear something else.

_And be with Patrick's parents, 'cause I know it's probably still bad for them ..._

And then he kinda gasped some more, and mumbled a lot quieter. I ain't stupid. Mush was prayin'. I remember thinkin' that Kloppman would be thrilled, because he tries to get everybody to pray once in a while. He makes us all go to Mass on Christmas and Easter. But Mush was prayin' for some Patrick -- at least, for his parents, and I wanted to know why. I'm not saying Mush ain't a good guy, but when it comes to prayin' -- we all pray for ourselves. Maybe that's bad, I don't know. But you don't spend a lot of time thinkin' about other people in our situation. But Mush was worried about this Patrick -- worried about his parents so much he was cryin' for them. And I knew something was wrong with Mush. 'Cause, see, I don't know about you, but I don't worry about too many people's parents.

And that's when I started askin' people. Real casually, and only folks I knew wouldn't get it back to Mush. I asked if they thought there was anything strange about Mush. I asked the fellas what he did before he was a newsie, and Jack told me he used to run with Spot Conlon's gang. And that really gets me, because you got to be tough to run with that crew. You got to fight people, and hurt people, and ... well, it's just a rumor, but it's common enough to keep kids outta Brooklyn at night. But they say you got to kill somebody to really get in. I don't think that's all the way true, just because there's so many guys in that Brooklyn gang. There's no way they all killed somebody. But if Mush used to run with Spot's gang, and if he cries at night and prays for this kid Patrick's parents, and if he won't knock the Delancey's on their asses and if he doesn't want to box --

But maybe I'm wrong. Skittery says I'm a weirdo for worrying about it. And maybe I was just hearing things that night. Nobody else seems to think anything's strange about Mush. They think that's just the way he is, that he's just a good guy. So I keep staying up when I can, and listening to see if he still cries and prays at night. Anymore, I'm just curious. If Mush killed somebody once upon a time, he feels too bad about it to do it again. Dutchy asked me why I even care, why I even want to think somethin' like that about Mush. I didn't answer him. But I guess it's my way of not being jealous of him anymore.

And maybe I'm wrong. Nobody else knows that Mush was prayin' for Patrick's parents that night. Nobody else seemed to pick up on him goin' easy on the scabs, and nobody thinks it's weird he never pummels the Delancey's. I think it's all really obvious, right there in front of our eyes. But when it comes to Mush, I guess, nobody knows anything. I don't think they want to know.


End file.
